How to meet people

Living on an overpopulated planet with an estimated world population of 7 billion, the probabilities of finding your perfect match are pretty damn high. Think about it, the minute you set foot outside your front door, you are immediately surrounded by people. Whether it’s during your morning commute to work, at your favorite coffee shop, your work place, the gym or the local food store – you name it, they are there. Plenty of people and potential partners out there and still we ask ourselves:”Where can I find my soulmate?”. Well, unless you are a prisoner, the answer is: everywhere and anywhere you find yourself, really. Note, I am not saying that you will immediately find the perfect guy/girl right around the corner from where you live – it might take a couple more attempts to find him/her. However, the potential is there. If you wrap your mind around the possibility, that you could very well come across your so-called soulmate at a location as ordinary as the grocery store, your whole attitude toward finding a partner will (hopefully) become more positive. And we all know the benefits of a positive attitude and outlook on life, don’t we?!


So, the real question at hand is not so much “where do I meet people?”, rather than “how do I connect with the billions of people around me?”
It could be so easy, right? Except that we have lost the ability to connect with our immediate surroundings thanks to living in our increasingly digitized world. With everybody glued to their smartphones, i-pads and notebooks, all the while listening to podcasts or music through their earphones, we are certainly constantly connected online but at the same time totally disconnected from our immediate surroundings. This detachment from the “offline -world” is precisely where the problem lies: When we don’t register the things and people around us, we miss out on so many opportunities! Thus, while in reality we may very well be surrounded by hundreds of people, we rarely see them or take the time out of our schedules to really acknowledge their presence and the possible impact they may have on us.

So, first things first: Start reconnecting and getting back in touch with your surroundings. This starts the minute you set foot outside your front door: I suggest you leave your phone in your purse, jacket or wherever you keep it and, most importantly, leave your ear-phones at home. I won’t lie, if you’re anything like me, the first times of walking around without earphones will be b-o-r-i-n-g as hell. The usual walk to your Starbucks around the corner will seem endless and standing in line waiting for your latte will seem straight out unbearable without your usual distraction. Trust me, it will pay off, though. The goal here is to bring your senses back to life, so to speak and to train your brain to refocus on your environment. Why? Because, dear reader: Your immediate surroundings – the places you visit most on a regular basis – are your “hunting grounds”. The chances of meeting your partner in one of these places are sky high (remember: 7 billion people out there! Plenty, plenty of opportunities!).

After just a few days you will start to register details, you never payed attention to before – simply because you were constantly distracting yourself with your phone and what not. Notice how spring has crept up on you? And that new little coffee place just down the street? Where did that come from? By the end of the week you will have successfully trained your brain to not only register things and objects but faces too. You will note the same group of morning commuters taking your same train downtown every day. Huge opportunity here! See that cute guy always getting on the same 7:20 am bus as you do? Or that coffee shop assistant with the cute smile?

How easily these two individuals slipped through your radar in the past, simply because you were constantly preoccupied with going through your usual phone routine of checking your latest Facebook and Instagram feed, while listening to the new Bruno Mars album. You never bothered to stop and have a good look at what was happening around you, because like everybody else you were distracting yourself. Especially morning commutes or standing in line somewhere are typical situations where we tend to cut ourselves off and seek distraction online. By doing so we fail to engage in the moment, which is such a shame, seeing that our time on earth is after all limited and you never know what and who might be seeking your attention.

Think of yourself as a lion on the hunt. Your everyday go-to places are your hunting grounds. If you aren’t aware of your surroundings, you will hardly succeed in hunting down your prey. So, put yourself out there and take in your hunting grounds and all the details and individuals that come with them. Scan the whole train, bus or cafeteria if you must. Switch it up a bit too: Try the new coffee shop down the street, hit the gym an hour later or earlier than usual and see what kind of people attend during those hours. Being pro-active is key: Try new places at least once a week and see where that journey will take you. Most importantly, be mindful and aware of all the places you visit (even if it’s just walking to the post office) and the people you pass on the way. You’ll soon come to realize that potential partners are everywhere. It’s only a matter of picking one and approaching him/her (see my post How to catch his attention).

Now off you go and start “hunting” you fearless lions and lionesses. Good luck and keep me posted on your adventures.


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