Establishing Contact

Depending on where you have spotted your “object of desire”, the approach may differ slightly. But really it all boils down to creating proper eye contact. Everything else follows from there.creation-1906289_640

Say you have noticed a cute guy sitting just a couple of seats away from you on that famous train to work every morning (yes, I firmly believe that these hideous commutes offer great opportunities for meeting people): By now you will have figured out that he sits in the same compartment pretty much every day. Your next step will be to graciously place yourself in that very same compartment as well – preferably sitting opposite of him to face him and make eye contact. How you do it, doesn’t matter (I don’t care if you “accidentally” step on his foot or drop something. Do what you have to do, but don’t make it too obvious). The goal is simply to get him to look up for a split second and to look him dead in the eye when he does. You’ve worked on your smile and look beforehand, so you’ve totally got this! Cast him your best glance, smile your most irresistible smile and look away. Believe me, he will lower his gaze almost immediately, totally bamboozled as to what just happened. That’s a good thing. Chances are, he’ll look up again after a few seconds to double check, whether you actually meant him. Be sure to meet his eyes when he does and smile back and then look away. Two eye contacts and two smiles are the maximum you’re going to give him on this first “encounter”. Not more, you don’t want to come across as weird or anything like that.

You can be sure that he will get off the train and spend the next hours wondering if he knows you and then smiling internally, because a cute girl just smiled at him for no reason. Either way, you’re on his mind and that’s exactly what you want. For the next days, your goal will be for him to see you as the “smiling girl on the train”. Keep up your smile and eye contact routine. If by the third day he hasn’t changed seat compartment, chances are pretty good that he’s intrigued. This process might take up to a week or a little more – so don’t get discouraged if it doesn’t work right away. It might take a couple of attempts but then again the best things in life usually do.

If everything goes smoothly, you’ll be on his mind by week two and he’ll even be looking forward to seeing you on the train. Note how he has stopped playing around on his smartphone all the time? Look out for little signs like that, which indicate you are on the right track. Your next step will be to have one of you initiate a conversation. Before you freak out, tell yourself that this is what life is all about: interacting with other humans. Don’t look at is as talking to the guy you have a crush on. This will only add unnecessary pressure. Instead, see it as an opportunity to get to know another person. If the chemistry is there, then great – if not, well life goes on, you tried and you move on. Plenty of other potential partners out there.

Bring a book with you. Something with a catchy title or a cool cover. That way you’ll also stand out in the crowd of people glued to their phones as the only person reading an actual book. Start reading your book but pause every now and then to give him the opportunity to start a conversation with you. Keep up your eye contact and smiling routine. Chances are he’ll chat you up first. If not, then you can always take matters into your own hand and start a conversation. Something along the lines of:”Man, this book is really boring” and then shoot him another one of those irresistible grins. “I honestly don’t know why I even bother to continue reading this”. By then he’ll have come up with an answer or comment of his own, trust me.

If you’re the one starting the conversation, just relax and say anything remotely sensible that comes to mind (“that dog over there is adorable. Do you like dogs?”). Remind yourself, if he wasn’t at all intrigued by you, he would have changed seat compartment long ago, and would not have continued to meet your eyes and maybe even return your smile. So just go with the flow and enjoy the ride. Who knows where this might take you. No risk, no fun, right?

You can apply this strategy to almost every situation (obviously with slight modifications): for example, while standing in line every morning at the same coffee shop or the cafeteria. Wherever you come across that specific person. However, don’t overdo it. Remember: two eye contacts and two smiles a day during the initial phase. No more.

Good luck and remember: practice makes perfect. You’ve got this.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s