For the guys: How to catch her attention

Guys, before even attempting to catch a lady’s attention, brace yourself for rejection: A lot of it and often brutal. You can thank the brothers Grimm and Walt Disney for that and here’s why: As little girls we grew up listening to fairy tales and watching those famous Walt Disney cartoons such as Sleeping Beauty, Cinderella, Snow White and the Little Mermaid, just to name a few. What do all these tales have in common? Exactly: A handsome prince who will stop at nothing to rescue the love of his life, the beautiful princess (usually asleep in most of the stories). He’ll fight off sea monsters, dragons and evil witches to reach her.

While us women would like to think that with the years we have grown out of all this glittery, sparkly nonsense, the truth of the matter is, we haven’t. We secretly still identify ourselves with princess Aurora and Co. and view ourselves us precious princesses (which we totally are, by the way), waiting for their prince to put a real effort into finding and courting them.


So, imagine you see a woman you fancy and want to chat her up, choosing one of those chat-up line, which your friends recommended. You approach her and give it your best shot. And then: BOOM, she blows you off! “What just happened??”, you ask yourself. I’ll tell you what happened: You approached a princess in disguise and talked to her. It doesn’t really matter what you said, because all she’s thinking is:”Is that all he’s got? Let me see, how he reacts when I blow him off. Will he stick around and show me I am worth fighting for or will he disappear into thin air?” And so she blows you off on your first try. Prince Phillip slayed a dragon for princess Aurora, after all! Surely you have more to offer.

Blowing you off is what we women do. It’s our way of testing you, if you are indeed prince-material or not. Keep that in mind the next time you find yourself rejected by a woman and don’t take it personally. It happens to most men.

The key to her heart is to keep trying. Be patient and don’t give up. Be relentless and persistent (but never in an annoying, stalker kind of way). Give her some space after the first rejection and try again a couple of days later. Get back to her with something funny and put her at the center of attention, because despite what women say, we love to be the center of your attention.

To attract a woman’s attention there are three simple things you need to apply. First and foremost, make her feel truly desired. Make her feel like you’d slay a dragon for her if you could. Honest and genuine compliments work best. Put some effort into coming up with something original.

Second make her laugh as much as possible. Humor is extremely important so make sure to have some funny, intelligent (never vulgar or degrading) jokes up your sleeve to entertain her. You can always get some ideas from stand-up comedians online if you don’t have any jokes of your own just yet. Don’t be afraid to joke about yourself either – it shows you are comfortable with who you are and confident in your own skin. Which brings me to the third point: natural confidence (without being cocky). While it’s totally fine to show some emotions and a little bit of vulnerability, make sure not to come across as whiny and insecure. Everybody has insecurities – try to keep yours in check and don’t bring them out when first getting to know a woman. You want to come across as self assured and strong.

Master these three things and you are good to go, unless you are Brad Pitt then you can basically do what you want (just kidding).

Once you have caught her attention and have managed to start a conversation with her, keep it up. I know you guys hate texting but we practically depend on it. So, if a woman texts you and you are into her, be sure to reply in due time (even if you don’t feel like it). Not responding gives a woman the impression that she is not the center of your attention anymore and believe me, she’ll resent you for it. Not a good start. It’s pretty simple: text back and keep the conversation going (women love to talk – preferably but not only about themselves). If you can’t text/ talk for whatever reason just let her know and make sure to include a line telling her that she’s on your mind even though you are busy at work etc.

Last but not least, never underestimate the hug: At the beginning of your courtship – when you are still in the texting/ talking phase – go in for the hug. Ask her, if you can hug her and without really waiting for her response embrace her firmly with both your arms and show off a bit of that manly strength. It doesn’t have to be a long hug  – 3 seconds max (anything longer than that could be a bit awkward). If you do it right, you’ll have her pretty much hooked in no time. The hug is essential. It proves that you are the man (i.e. the strong prince who would move mountains for her) and have that strength inside you. It doesn’t matter if you are not built like the Hulk. It’s not about muscle (although it won’t hurt either). It’s about your inner strength. By giving her that firm, bear-like hug, you demonstrate that you can be her rock if she needs it. Because, despite what we say or want you to believe, women want to be swept off their feet and “taken care” of.

So go slay those imaginary dragons for your princess. Good luck


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